Setahu saya tidak sedikit ayat2 Qur'an dan hadits melarang menyakiti (tentu termasuk di dalamnya memukul) istri:
"... Nor should ye treat them with harshness... (Qur'an 4:19)
"O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." (Qur'an 2:231)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "Never beat God's handmaidens." (HR. Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, Ibn Hibban and Hakim)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "Many women have poured in to see the family of Muhammad, complaining of their husbands (beating them), and the latter are certainly not the best of you." (HR. Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah).
Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri said: "I went to the Apostle of Allah (SAW) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them. (HR. Abu Dawud)"
Aisha said: "The Prophet (SAW) never beat anyone with his hand except in the time of war. He never beat a servant or woman" (HR. Muslim, Ahmad, Ibn Majah).
The Prophet (SAW) said: "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?" (HR. Bukhari)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "The best of you in faith is the one who is best towards his wife." (HR. Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women. (HR. Muslim)"
The Prophet (SAW) said: You should treat women well. (HR.Muslim)
Lalu bagaimana meresolve ayat 4:34 yg tampaknya membolehkan "memukul" istri? IMHO, kata "wadribuhunna" yang sering diinterpretasikan tanpa menjelaskan maksud konteksnya, dan restriction di dalamnya, serta melupakan the purpose of marriage in Islam:
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (Qur'an 30:21)
Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of North America, explained:
It is important to read the section (verse 4:34) fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situations with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean physical abuse. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih," which means "a light tap that leaves no mark." He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak or toothbrush.
Generally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. In one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?" (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43).
It is also important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it.
The word "daraba" in Arabic juga tidak selalu berarti "memukul" dalam konteks violence. Tapi bisa diartikan dalam arti simbolis. Misalnya dalam bahasa Inggris kita kenal "a slap in the wrist" yang bisa diartikan a gentle warning or light punishment. Di banyak culture, a slap on the back or on the shoulder juga bisa menunjukkan perasaan tidak suka terhadap tindakan seseorang. Tidak berarti violence hitting that causes injury or pain. Tapi mengandung a symbolic meaning.
Shaikh Gibril F Haddad (from Sunnipath) said:
Jurists routinely use the expression "daraba al-ma' `ala wajhihi" - lit. strike water upon the face, for someone accomplishing the first rukn of wudu' (washing the face).
Also in Arabic daraba al-ard "to strike the earth" - as in verse 4:94 {When you strike the earth in the cause of Allah} - means to travel, i.e. walking with a staff.
Saya tidak menemukan asbabunnuzul ayat ini dalam Ibn Katsir yg saya miliki, tapi menemukannya dalam Al Wahidi
(source: http://www.altafsir.com/AsbabAlnuzol.asp?SoraName=4&Ayah=34&search=yes&img=A)
Said Muqatil: "This verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed about Sa'd ibn al-Rabi', who was one of the leaders of the Helpers (nuqaba'), and his wife Habibah bint Zayd ibn Abi Zuhayr, both of whom from the Helpers. It happened Sa'd hit his wife on the face because she rebelled against him. Then her father went with her to see the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. He said to him: 'I gave him my daughter in marriage and he slapped her'. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: 'Let her have retaliation against her husband'. As she was leaving with her father to execute retaliation, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, called them and said: 'Come back; Gabriel has come to me', and Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verse. The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: 'We wanted something while Allah wanted something else, and that which Allah wants is good'. Retaliation was then suspended".
Sa'id ibn Muhammad ibn Ahmad al-Zahid informed us> Zahir ibn Ahmad> Ahmad ibn al-Husayn ibn Junayd> Ziyad ibn Ayyub> Hushaym> Yunus ibn al-Hasan who reported that a man slapped his wife and she complained about him to the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. Her family who went with her said: "O Messenger of Allah! So-and-so has slapped our girl". The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, kept saying: "Retaliation! Retaliation! And there is no other judgement to be held". But then this verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed and the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: "We wanted something and Allah wanted something else".
Kisah di atas sering diambil oleh Islamophobes termasuk missionaris untuk menyerang Islam dengan alasan, Nabinya umat Islam memiliki split personality, pada awalnya dia berpihak pada wanita yg menjadi korban tapi kemudian berpihak kepada pihak laki2.
Saya tidak tahu mengenai status isnad riwayat tsb di atas whether or not they are reliable. Ar-Razi dalam tafsirnya al-Kabir juga menyebutkan riwayat di atas dan Dr.Gibril Haddad mengatakan bahwa riwayat tsb "weak, isolated, mursal Tabi`i report that does not have probative force.". But even if the narrations above are reliable, tetap saja kesimpulan para Islamophobes ini salah karena didasarkan kepada banyak asumsi termasuk their preconceived ideas about our Prophet (e.g. he was the author of the Qur'an). Riwayat tsb tidak menceritakan kasus apa yg membuat si suami men-slap istrinya. Atau possibility apa yg akan terjadi bila sang istri dibiarkan memukul balik suaminya (bisa jadi suaminya melakukan hal yg lebih buruk thd istrinya). Dsb. Riwayat2 di atas juga harus dilihat bersama2 dengan banyak riwayat2 lainnya yang lebih shahih dan mutawatir (narrated by many) yg berhubungan dengan pesan2 Rasulullah SAW untuk berbuat baik serta larangan beliau untuk memukul wanita, karena ketidakkomprehensifan ilmu kita terhadap dalil2 yg ada terhadap suatu subject bisa menyebabkan pengambilan kesimpulan yg salah (fallacy).
Ingin menambahkan informasi ttg modus operandi Islamophobes dalam hal ini...
1. Menggunakan ayat 4:34 secara literal tanpa menyebutkan banyak hadits2 yg berkaitan dengan maksud kata "idribu" di sini.
2. Menggunakan hadits2 yg mengisahkan adanya contoh kasus pemukulan terhadap wanita di zaman Nabi, tanpa menyebutkan sikap tidak suka Nabi terhadap kasus tsb.
3. Mengquote pendapat2 ulama2 tafsir klasik mengenai subject ini untuk menunjukkan bahwa kata "idribu" ini diartikan sebagai "strike" or "hit" tanpa menekankan ketegasan mereka dalam menjelaskan strictnya larangan menyakiti istri dengan banyak dalil dari hadist Nabi.
Di sini terlihat sikap ketidak konsistenan mereka dalam menggunakan references.
Tolong dikoreksi dan ditambahkan kalau ada yg salah.
Mudah2an ada manfaatnya.
Wallahu'alam.
"... Nor should ye treat them with harshness... (Qur'an 4:19)
"O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." (Qur'an 2:231)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "Never beat God's handmaidens." (HR. Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, Ibn Hibban and Hakim)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "Many women have poured in to see the family of Muhammad, complaining of their husbands (beating them), and the latter are certainly not the best of you." (HR. Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah).
Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri said: "I went to the Apostle of Allah (SAW) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them. (HR. Abu Dawud)"
Aisha said: "The Prophet (SAW) never beat anyone with his hand except in the time of war. He never beat a servant or woman" (HR. Muslim, Ahmad, Ibn Majah).
The Prophet (SAW) said: "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?" (HR. Bukhari)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "The best of you in faith is the one who is best towards his wife." (HR. Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women. (HR. Muslim)"
The Prophet (SAW) said: You should treat women well. (HR.Muslim)
Lalu bagaimana meresolve ayat 4:34 yg tampaknya membolehkan "memukul" istri? IMHO, kata "wadribuhunna" yang sering diinterpretasikan tanpa menjelaskan maksud konteksnya, dan restriction di dalamnya, serta melupakan the purpose of marriage in Islam:
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (Qur'an 30:21)
Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of North America, explained:
It is important to read the section (verse 4:34) fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situations with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean physical abuse. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih," which means "a light tap that leaves no mark." He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak or toothbrush.
Generally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. In one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?" (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43).
It is also important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it.
The word "daraba" in Arabic juga tidak selalu berarti "memukul" dalam konteks violence. Tapi bisa diartikan dalam arti simbolis. Misalnya dalam bahasa Inggris kita kenal "a slap in the wrist" yang bisa diartikan a gentle warning or light punishment. Di banyak culture, a slap on the back or on the shoulder juga bisa menunjukkan perasaan tidak suka terhadap tindakan seseorang. Tidak berarti violence hitting that causes injury or pain. Tapi mengandung a symbolic meaning.
Shaikh Gibril F Haddad (from Sunnipath) said:
Jurists routinely use the expression "daraba al-ma' `ala wajhihi" - lit. strike water upon the face, for someone accomplishing the first rukn of wudu' (washing the face).
Also in Arabic daraba al-ard "to strike the earth" - as in verse 4:94 {When you strike the earth in the cause of Allah} - means to travel, i.e. walking with a staff.
Saya tidak menemukan asbabunnuzul ayat ini dalam Ibn Katsir yg saya miliki, tapi menemukannya dalam Al Wahidi
(source: http://www.altafsir.com/AsbabAlnuzol.asp?SoraName=4&Ayah=34&search=yes&img=A)
Said Muqatil: "This verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed about Sa'd ibn al-Rabi', who was one of the leaders of the Helpers (nuqaba'), and his wife Habibah bint Zayd ibn Abi Zuhayr, both of whom from the Helpers. It happened Sa'd hit his wife on the face because she rebelled against him. Then her father went with her to see the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. He said to him: 'I gave him my daughter in marriage and he slapped her'. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: 'Let her have retaliation against her husband'. As she was leaving with her father to execute retaliation, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, called them and said: 'Come back; Gabriel has come to me', and Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verse. The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: 'We wanted something while Allah wanted something else, and that which Allah wants is good'. Retaliation was then suspended".
Sa'id ibn Muhammad ibn Ahmad al-Zahid informed us> Zahir ibn Ahmad> Ahmad ibn al-Husayn ibn Junayd> Ziyad ibn Ayyub> Hushaym> Yunus ibn al-Hasan who reported that a man slapped his wife and she complained about him to the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. Her family who went with her said: "O Messenger of Allah! So-and-so has slapped our girl". The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, kept saying: "Retaliation! Retaliation! And there is no other judgement to be held". But then this verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed and the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: "We wanted something and Allah wanted something else".
Kisah di atas sering diambil oleh Islamophobes termasuk missionaris untuk menyerang Islam dengan alasan, Nabinya umat Islam memiliki split personality, pada awalnya dia berpihak pada wanita yg menjadi korban tapi kemudian berpihak kepada pihak laki2.
Saya tidak tahu mengenai status isnad riwayat tsb di atas whether or not they are reliable. Ar-Razi dalam tafsirnya al-Kabir juga menyebutkan riwayat di atas dan Dr.Gibril Haddad mengatakan bahwa riwayat tsb "weak, isolated, mursal Tabi`i report that does not have probative force.". But even if the narrations above are reliable, tetap saja kesimpulan para Islamophobes ini salah karena didasarkan kepada banyak asumsi termasuk their preconceived ideas about our Prophet (e.g. he was the author of the Qur'an). Riwayat tsb tidak menceritakan kasus apa yg membuat si suami men-slap istrinya. Atau possibility apa yg akan terjadi bila sang istri dibiarkan memukul balik suaminya (bisa jadi suaminya melakukan hal yg lebih buruk thd istrinya). Dsb. Riwayat2 di atas juga harus dilihat bersama2 dengan banyak riwayat2 lainnya yang lebih shahih dan mutawatir (narrated by many) yg berhubungan dengan pesan2 Rasulullah SAW untuk berbuat baik serta larangan beliau untuk memukul wanita, karena ketidakkomprehensifan ilmu kita terhadap dalil2 yg ada terhadap suatu subject bisa menyebabkan pengambilan kesimpulan yg salah (fallacy).
Ingin menambahkan informasi ttg modus operandi Islamophobes dalam hal ini...
1. Menggunakan ayat 4:34 secara literal tanpa menyebutkan banyak hadits2 yg berkaitan dengan maksud kata "idribu" di sini.
2. Menggunakan hadits2 yg mengisahkan adanya contoh kasus pemukulan terhadap wanita di zaman Nabi, tanpa menyebutkan sikap tidak suka Nabi terhadap kasus tsb.
3. Mengquote pendapat2 ulama2 tafsir klasik mengenai subject ini untuk menunjukkan bahwa kata "idribu" ini diartikan sebagai "strike" or "hit" tanpa menekankan ketegasan mereka dalam menjelaskan strictnya larangan menyakiti istri dengan banyak dalil dari hadist Nabi.
Di sini terlihat sikap ketidak konsistenan mereka dalam menggunakan references.
Tolong dikoreksi dan ditambahkan kalau ada yg salah.
Mudah2an ada manfaatnya.
Wallahu'alam.
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